Dear Ilona Andrews
If it helps, as soon as I read Magic Bites I thought, “I hate this author, her sparse prose, her tight plotting, her ridiculously amazing world-building, and the KATE SHE RODE IN ON!!” So, you know, we’re even.
P.S. That chick really did have Pantene hair. But, ahem — I can’t help but notice that your own cover girl has a sultry glower. And what’s more– Shh! Shhhh! Listen:
Do you hear that whisper? I think she’s saying, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”
“Do you hear that whisper? I think she’s saying, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.—
Of course you know this means war.
Like a cover model war? w000t!
I WILL SMITE THEE WITH MY MASSIVE ANGEL-TITTY!
I WILL SEE YOUR ANGEL TITTY AND RAISE YOU A LION THAT LOOKS LIKE IT’S BEEN GOOSED WHILE SUCKING ON A LEMON. TREMBLE, PUNY MORTAL.
That’s some lion there and he has quite the herbal essence mane himself.
I don’t want to get caught in the cross fire or anything, but… Umm… that lion does look like he’s been… oowww…. yeah. Whatcha got, Meljean? :joker:
Are there court side seats for this brawl? And pop corn?
Uh oh, and yours have weapons, too … thinking … thinking …
FAIRY! I HAVE A MAN FAIRY SURROUNDED BY SPARKLING LIGHT! COVER YOUR EYES, AND QUIVER BEFORE THE POWER OF HIS IRIDESCENT WINGS AND BLURRY GENITALS!
What does a fairy’s genitals look like? :ninja:
Oh please.
I CAN HAS A GIRL WITH NO BUTT HOLDING A LIGHT SABER AGAINST A PINK SKY WITH SPARKLIES.
Dude.
Pink FONT!
(Also, I wish I had no butt.)
Oooo…. pink font.
)
(good one!
Ha!
PINK FONT? IF YOU TOOK ALL OF YOUR PINK FONT AND DOUBLED IT, IT WOULD STILL BE LESS THAN THE GLOB OF PINK GOO SITTING ON HER LIPS.
I can live with a butt. I just want the spare tire around my waist to go away. Same boobs, same butt, half the waist. Mmmmm….
Butts are good things. It helps having a generous one when you sit around long hours readi… erm, working. Yes. Working.
I hate to bring this one out, but I once read where someone asked if the Demon Moon cover was for a Clan of the Cave Bear romance.
SO MY VAMPIRE CAVEMAN ROMANCE HEROINE WILL CLUB THAT GOO RIGHT OFF YOUR HEROINE’S LIPS! UGH!!
Bwaaaahaaahaaa. Okay give me a second…. I am sorry
:moans:
It’s the brown strips of cloth, isn’t it?
:dies:
I forfeit, I forfeit. You win!
I don’t know. The caveman didn’t come from me — was it a cheat? Your blob of goo pretty much did me in.
I think we are at an impasse.
We will fight again. :ninja:
Ilona, I think you should hold an ARC contest and pick me as the winner. I solemnly promise to taunt Meljean at length and with as much tantalizing detail as possible after reading it. It’s a win-win situation for all of us. Well. Except Meljean, but that’s the point.
Angie — *cough cough* Go here. *cough cough*
LOL ya’ll are killing me!!!! And I hear you ilona..i’d gladly give up this waist. :brickwall:
I think you should have a rematch. Just to be fair and all. Not because this is popcorn-worth entertainment or anything
*begins thinking about writing a vampire cavewoman trilogy*
If you make vampire cavewoman trilogy, I will have to pull alpha menz out of retirement.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
PS. Angela, if you want a copy, I will send it to you
I didn’t know you wanted one.
Vampire cavewoman trilogy??:shock:
Can there be dinosaurs in it also?? And can they fly?
Bloodsucking dinos and the vampire ho’s that ride them!
PS. Angela, if you want a copy, I will send it to you
I didn’t know you wanted one.
*gasp* Would you like my firstborn? No really, I’ll send her to you. Actually, come to think of it, you can have her without the ARC in trade. She’s three. That should explain it all right there. But she’s real cute, honest.
Angie — *cough cough* Go here. *cough cough*
Hm. Maybe I should start making inroads on my Google Reader unread posts. I might be missing out on someone wanting to give me a million dollars too!
As long as the million dollars isn’t in a Nigerian bank…
That lion? LMFAO.
You are both too funny. No wonder we love the books.
*begins thinking about writing a vampire cavewoman trilogy*
~~then you get to write the club-her-like-a-baby-seal-and-drag-her-home scenes
very old school/ bodice ripper sounding
LOL…I have much loff for the two of you!
If you do a cavewoman trilogy, name one of them Kate! She will be riding the lion… oops the dinosaur I mean.
Does that mean Ilona needs to go saber-toothed tiger for her next cover to keep up with the cavewoman theme?
(Here from Ilona’s lj. Thanks for the laugh out loud entertainment, ladies!)