Update: My caffeine addiction (and the size of my ass)
No, I haven’t weaned myself. But to save money, I have stopped going to Starbucks every morning for my triple mocha, and have been downing tons of Diet Pepsi instead.
And I’ve lost about five pounds*.
…maybe I should also take up smoking? I know I should be drinking, because that is the writerly thing to do, but I’d just get sleepy. Would rum & Diet Pepsi cancel each other out?
*although there might be other factors, like fasting from sunrise to sundown for the past month**
**which I do not recommend to anyone who will be at a book signing when they should be eating***
***but will also partially explain the dorkery that will probably soon show up on Ciara’s blog****
****unless she managed to edit it all so that I look somewhat coherent*****
*****although I doubt there’s a video-editing program in the world that could manage that
Yeah, I’m pretty sure rum and Diet pepsi don’t cancel each other out – but it was a good thought.
So you don’t make coffee at your house? Invest in a great coffee maker and then buy the starbucks by the pound…at least you’re kind of still getting your Starbucks fix. Kinda, not really.
Dorkery – nice word.
I have a coffee maker, but everything that comes out of it (and I have good coffee and follow the directions and everything) leaves a dirty-sock-ass aftertaste. I can’t do coffee-coffee … pretty much only espresso with lots of sugar and milk.
(And it’s probably the sugar and milk that is piling on the calories, sigh.)
From what I can tell, there are no good habits besides heroin or crack to really help with that kind of weight loss that’s both dramatic and leaves one with a healthy glow — so really, drinking liquor would just be a waste of time.
I can’t say those things really help much with the coherency thing, though, so maybe chocolate covered coffee beans might do the trick? They would provide both a buzz AND a tasty snack: a double win.
Oh, man — I’d try those (and probably type faster for it) but
heroineheroin and crack might be out of my budget for the next year or five. Sigh.This is what the financial meltdown has done to me! I can’t even form a drug habit!
Your comment re: not being able to afford a drug habit just gave me an idea for a comedy about drug dealers having to downsize their operations and diversify into other industries due to the financial crisis because they can’t stand the thought of putting out a cheaper/less quality product. There could be a funny scene involving pie charts, pivot tables and a laser pointer that isn’t used according to the manufacturer’s directions.
Hey, Hollywood – where’s my contract? That idea’s pure gold and I got a million more just like it! (If you now picture Kenneth from 30Rock as he explains
to Gobhow he has an idea for a cop show with a guy named Cash and a guy named Carry but doesn’t know what he’d title it…well, I can’t say I blame you.)Chew more gum?
Dunkin Donuts is much cheaper than Starbucks. Or go to Wawa or Quick Check. A large coffee is under $2.00 there and they have flavored creams to add to your brew!
Mwuhahahaha. Yes, editing. About that….
I shall attempt to edit, even though I think it’s terribly cute as is. I don’t know if my technical skills are up to par, never having edited a video before. I’ll do my best. Thanks for letting me tape you!
I would recommend Sees chocolate suckers. They last really long, and it seems like you’re chowing chocolate the whole time. And they pep you up. The perfect desk food. Mmmm. Happy end of fast, dude!
What a coincidence! I think I found your five pounds.
You can have them back now.
Caffeine! Oh how I miss it. I wish you the best of luck with the coffee cut.
KB: The only bad thing about taking up gum chewing it that it makes your jaws really sore for the first couple of days. Not that I would know.:roll:
I’m quite partial to Captain Mo’s spiced rum with diet pepsi or going with the good ol bourbon and coke zero (after all, bourbon is the writerly type of booze)
So it’s a no go on black coffee then? You can sweeten with a crapload of splenda or sweet n’ low to keep calories down
Rum and diet Pepsi would cause a mentos-like explosion. Or maybe unconsciousness. I can’t remember which. Whichever one it is, for the love of God, don’t do it!
I have a coffee maker, but everything that comes out of it (and I have good coffee and follow the directions and everything) leaves a dirty-sock-ass aftertaste.
Well that’s gotta suck! So sorry!:slashyhug:
well the crystal light, tea , that you can add to water, HAS CAFFINE!! thank god
and only 5 calories