Meljean Brook

Every once in a while, you come across a concept that is so freaking cool, that you bang your head and wonder why you didn’t think of it. I ran across one of those today when I read an interview at Occasional Superheroine, regarding a new Zuda.com webcomic by David Gallaher and Steve Ellis called High Moon.

Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like, but here is a description from Ellis (the artist) on the High Moon blog:

It’s … a supernatural western/horror, involving six guns and werewolves … it starts out as a mystery and I think it will be a blast when we reveal the final twist.

I love Ellis’s art anyway, so of course I’m a shoo-in fan. They do one issue at a time (8 pages) and then if it gets enough votes it continues.

Other stuff: Kerry Allen has a fantastic review of Demon Moon over at her blog, but the fun news is that, apparently, Colin will be her HOTM on Nov 2. (Her blog’s a load of good times, anyway, so a visit (even without Colin) is well worth it.)

This is maybe a different kind of moon (and one I want to avoid), but to the gentleman at the Borders’ cafe, who sat in the chair next to me whilst I was writing, and proceeded to tear off the plastic wrapping on a Penthouse magazine: No. Just — no. You couldn’t wait until you got home? Until you got into your car? Or maybe on the bus, where everyone expects that kind of stuff? Gah. Do Not Want.

…and you get a chance to win every book he’s appeared in.

I’m giving away two sets of my backlist — the trade HOT SPELL, DEMON ANGEL, and WILD THING. To enter, you must choose seven of the following questions, and answer them either on your own blog or here in the comments. (If you answer them on your blog, please be sure to leave a link here in the comments.)

You do not have to answer them as yourself. Feel free to use a character that you’ve created, or one from a book, movie, or television show … just let us know who it is.

I will randomly select two winners from the posts in the comments (so make sure you link if you post on your own blog!) And remember, even if you already have copies of these books, they can make a great gift (or punishment, if you didn’t like them.) The last day to enter will be May 31st, at midnight. Here are Colin’s answers to the full questionnaire:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A life lived without answering any ridiculous French questionnaires.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Waking up in Chaos.

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

The fantastically brilliant and gorgeous figure who inspired an Irishman to give vampires no reflection.

4. Which living person do you most admire?

Might I choose an undead person? If so, it is that fantastically brilliant and gorgeous person who inspired an Irishman.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

This question is absurd.

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Blindness.

7. What is your greatest extravagance?

The time I’ve wasted on questions one to six. I am immortal, but Good God — Children of the Corn: 666 was time and money better spent, and I received it free from Columbia House after purchasing my 1000^th DVD through them.

8. What is your favorite journey?

From San Francisco to Beaumont Court. Then, after my nieces and nephews have chased me round with garlic wreaths and crucifixes for a fortnight or so, I find the journey home even more agreeable.

9. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Chastity.

10. On what occasion do you lie?

I never lie.

11. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

Ridiculous question.

12. Which living person do you most despise?

Equally ridiculous question. Why would I bother to expend the energy required to despise a person? It is far more entertaining and gratifying when others despise or fear me. So long as they take a good look at me before cowering or tottering off to their libraries or wherever they sit and contemplate with malice the faces of those they hate, I am satisfied.

13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

In public company, usually to strangers: “You look lovely tonight, my dear.” In private company, or to myself: “Good God.” “Bloody hell.” “Bloody fucking hell.”

14. What is your greatest regret?

That I did not put Savi to sleep after I drank from her. That I did not take more care that she had no memory of our encounter by the fountain. That, because of my neglect, she will not look at me now.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

I am not certain that I wish to ever find someone I would love more than I do myself. What would come of that love? If it were with a human, I would have to find others to feed from; if a vampire, I could not feed her; and if she were a Guardian…no, that would be impossible. I could never love a self-righteous, lecturing moralist.

16. Which talent would you most like to have?

I am and have mastered everything I should like to be or have mastered.

17. What is your current state of mind?

Thanks to this absurd questionnaire — and specifically, the question numbered fourteen — rather melancholy, and desperately hungry for a bit of Indian curry.

18. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

They would be immortal.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Achievement is such a plebian goal. If I must have an achievement of which to be proud, it is that I have managed to exist two hundred years without achieving anything.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

This is absurd — a thing? What should I be — a pair of trousers? Bloody ridiculous.

21. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

Me.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

A painting of Savi, in Caelum, by the fountain. It is already without compare, and I suspect that in sixty years or so, its value to me will be far beyond priceless.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Chaos. But ask again in sixty years, or after she marries, and I may have a different answer.

24. Where would you like to live?

San Francisco.

25. What is your favorite occupation?

Hunting. Drinking. Fucking. (They are all the same.)

26. What is your most marked characteristic?

I am exceptionally handsome.

27. What is the quality you most like in a man?

One who is clever, but never one who is more clever than I.

28. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Curiosity, particularly when her questions are designed to gather information about me. Intelligence. Beauty. A sharp wit and quick tongue. One who speaks honestly and bluntly — no doubt a result of having an adopted brother who can read lies.

29. What do you most value in your friends?

Fine eyesight, and better aesthetic judgment.

30. Who are your favorite writers?

Mary Shelley. John Polidori. (I hope this question refers to the writer as a person, and does not include Polidori’s works — because The Vampyre was utterly ridiculous.)

31. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Not that weak-minded fool Aubrey, that’s for certain.

32. Who are your heroes in real life?

I shall never admit it, not to him or his partner.

33. What are your favorite names?

Colin. Emily. Anthony. I have also recently taken a strong liking to names from The Mahabharata.

34. What is it that you most dislike?

Chaos and polyester.

35. How would you like to die?

Never, but if I must, in my daysleep.

36. What is your motto?

Don’t be absurd. Napoleon’s pox-ridden sailors created mottos so as not to be forced to think of anything original to say whilst they drowned. As it was, most of them forgot it at the last moment, and instead remarked upon how bloody brilliant the British Navy was just as the water closed over their heads.

So, today is Valentine’s Day. Which means that my sister, who works at Godiva and lives with me, has to be downtown at 5am so that she can start dipping strawberries (see this page for an excellent rant about those strawberries). Which means that I have to get up at 4:30 am to get her there (twice in one week! this has to be a non-deadline record for me) because the buses don’t run that early out here.

And how does she repay me? In chocolate. Click on the rant-link above (if you already haven’t) for a picture of how she repays me. I’ve got a couple of those little raspberry/blueberry cups sitting in my fridge, leering at me, making lewd suggestions like: “eat me” and “come and suck on my little berries” and “lick it up, baby, lick it all up you slutty, slutty food whore you know you want it!!!”

*sob sob* I do! I do!

And I guess I might as well give in, yes? Because no one sees me but my husband … except in about three weeks I am heading up to Seattle to do a little research and to say YAY! with Richelle Mead and celebrate her new release, so I shouldn’t be eating chocolate but maybe sucking down some SlimFast or something.

A haircut would be good, too. And this time, I won’t do it myself with a pair of cuticle scissors. Yeah. Don’t ask. I was having issues that day. Just like about two days ago when I dyed my hair REALLY red instead of just my natural strawberry blonde. (Strawberries again! Gah!) But now I’m almost too ashamed to go in and get it cut by a beautician, because they’ll look at my dye job and be like: keeee-rist! and probably cut me bald just to teach me a lesson.

Other things I’ve done today, while going through my DEMON MOON typeset pages:

• Made certain that my Fahrenheit/Celsius/Kelvin conversions were correct.
• Changed about a billion colons to periods (I made a mistake when changing all of the semi-colons to periods in the copy-edit stage, and forgot to take out the top dot, so now all of them are colons.) And I had a LOT of semi-colons, so that tells you pretty much that I’m changing a lot of colons. Sigh.
• Clarified a bunch of pronouns, even when only two people of opposite gender are talking/in the same room. Because I don’t think I write their names enough.
• Changed “incisors” to “canines” because I’m an idiot, and apparently originally had Colin looking like the Max Schreck version of Nosferatu. Which would have been baaaaaaaaaaaad. Fangs = sexy. Pointy front teeth = not. It occurred to me when reading the passage for the 1000th millionth time that incisors are in the front, and that anyone with a better memory of 8th grade health class than I do was going to point out that I’m a dork, so I’m glad I remembered before it went to print. Here is the dental diagram I used to make sure.

In other news, spam loves He-Man. That post has generated more spam for me than almost all other posts combined, and I mentioned before that on the old blog it had almost 300 spam hits or so. It’s crazy. It’s the power of Greyskull.

RENFIELD: Slave of Dracula by Barbara Hambly

Hambly has retold Bram Stoker’s Dracula in the voice of a minor character, Renfield, the madman who becomes the vampire’s slave-agent in England. In Stoker’s original, Renfield is a harbinger, extremely strong and violent, given to an unnatural diet of flies. When Dracula occupies the estate next to the asylum in which he is confined, Renfield attempts several escapes, claiming that his master is calling him. Hambly creates a past for this possessed man via his diaries and letters to his wife and gives him occasional lucid moments. When Dracula imposes himself on Renfield’s deteriorated mind, he, bound to an active purpose, becomes yet more lucid. When Dracula orders him to kill Van Helsing, he isn’t strong enough to refuse, but on the journey from London to Transylvania, he develops the strength to resist the count, find allies, and eventually retrace his journey back from lunacy to sanity. Hambly superbly weaves Stoker’s plot and style with her own, producing one of the best recent vampire yarns. (Booklist)

BLINDSIGHT by Peter Watts

Canadian author Watts (Starfish) explores the nature of consciousness in this stimulating hard SF novel, which combines riveting action with a fascinating alien environment. In the late 21st century, when something alien is discovered beyond the edge of the solar system, the spaceship Theseus sets out to make contact. Led by an enigmatic AI and a genetically engineered vampire, the crew includes a biologist who’s more machine than human, a linguist with surgically induced multiple personality disorder, a professional soldier who’s a pacifist, and Siri Keeton, a man with only half a brain. Keeton is virtually incapable of empathy, but he has a savant’s ability to model and predict the actions of others without understanding them. Once the Theseus arrives at the gigantic and hideously dangerous alien artifact (which has tellingly self-named itself Rorschach), the crew must deal with beings who speak English fluently but who may, paradoxically, not even be sentient, at least as we understand the term. Watts puts a terrifying and original spin on the familiar alien contact story. (Publisher’s Weekly)

(From the comments of the talkingsquid review — don’t miss the Flash slide show of the vampire study Peter Watts made — funny and odd.)

Note: This post contains spoilers for the movie DAWN OF THE DEAD.

So last night I was on the couch with my sister, and we were wallowing in the sweet, sweet bombardment of cheesy horror movies that this time of year brings to TV. BLOODSUCKERS on SciFi channel? Terrible, but oh god what fun it is. Then I saw that DAWN OF THE DEAD was on, and I was like: YAY! because I lurve zombie films, but due to certain circumstances, hadn’t seen it when it came out. (This is a remake of the late 1970’s one by George Romero, based on his screenplay but with a different director, and the characters are all in a shopping mall.)

Aside: God, I really want to write zombies into a romance. Er, as the bad guys. I’m so going to, someday.

Anyway, lots of people are killed, there’s a zombie baby (I was a wimp and had to look away — ever since having a baby I’ve been oogy about things like that) the zombies run really fast (I like that) though there’s the same zombie mythology (you’re bitten, you turn into one; you have to shoot them in the head — I was disappointed that they didn’t seem to care about eating brains, though…just biting. They have to eat brains!)

Okay, okay, here comes the spoilery part:

At the end of the movie, the characters take these buses to a marina, with plans to sail to an island where, maybe, there aren’t any zombies. (Like the end of MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, only with zombies instead of killer semi-trucks, heh.) And there’s a sad little part where the good guy is bitten and he doesn’t get on a boat, but commits suicide on the dock instead. Aw (because a few of the characters were actually better drawn than your typical stock horror characters). And then the girl who had to leave him behind and three other people sail off into the sunset.

I should have turned off the movie then.

See, I don’t have to have happy endings. I like them, but they aren’t necessary. Ambiguous endings are great. Non-endings are great. Multiple endings — like you get so often on DVDs now (ie: 28 DAYS LATER) — are great, too. Or movies where the main characters die, but there’s a reason and something positive happens because of the sacrifice.

And if the movie had ended with them sailing off, that would have been fine. You don’t know that they’ll make it, but there’s a small, tiny, itty bitty hope. Something to make the whole two hours I spent watching the movie worth it. I like zombies — but what I like even more is seeing people, maybe, get out of it. Persevering. (Oddly enough, this is also why I like the sequel-baiting scene at the end of horror movies, where the dead bad guy opens his eyes or twitches, or the camera pans over to an egg about to hatch with baby Godzilla or whatever, because it means the good guys didn’t completely win, either).

Another aside: Romero’s NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD is the exception to this. In that, everyone dies but the ending had a point, and it made a hell of a statement. That didn’t happen with DAWN OF THE DEAD. Even the possible statement about consumerism and zombie-like behavior in a mall wasn’t taken as far as it could have.

Instead, during the credits, we see a montage of scenes where the food on the boat goes bad, tempers flare, gas runs empty — still all good. I can deal with this, because maybe maybe they’ll arrive somewhere, and they’ll get off, and there will still be a bit of ambiguity.

No.

They get off the boat and are killed by a billion zombies.

WTF? Why did I just bother with that movie? It’s like going to a hotel on the beach and ordering a porn to watch with the hubby and then choosing Teenage Sluts 15 or whatever, and then after paying $12.99 for it, you just get scenes where there’s penetration but no orgasm. Oh, and the actors are ugly and the moan-track really bad. WTF?

There has to be a payoff. Sometimes, yeah, characters are so unlikeable that the payoff (for me, at least) is their gruesome brain-eating death. In DAWN OF THE DEAD, for example, I was really rooting for the death of the TSTL chick who drives a truck across a parking lot filled with zombies to save a dog that isn’t in danger. So, you know, you’d think I’d be glad that she’s one of the people killed at the end.

But I wasn’t.

Luckily, however, ARMY OF DARKNESS was on right afterward. Nothing cleans the disgusted horror palate better than a bit of Ash.

…of questions like this.

How is a blood slurping guy (vampire) sexy? … Just wondering what the appeal is?

Grr. You don’t like it? Fine. It seems to me that questions like that are not borne out of genuine curiosity, but a need to display disgust. Or to garner attention. They are the second cousin to the “Am I the only one…?” questions. (No, you aren’t.)

Why does anyone have to explain why they like something? It’s like saying, “why do you like ice cream* — it’s discharge from a cow tit!”

*Which is also cold; and often, white. Aside: yes, I’m tired.

Or is it just another symptom of the paranormal glut in the market? Is it borne of frustration, perhaps? I guess that’s kind of how I felt when Westerns were so popular: Can someone please explain to me what the appeal of a cowboy is? They’re always so effin’ dirty!

ETA:

Okay, here’s my real answer: Drinking blood is sex. Pure and simple (okay, not simple, but still). It’s intimate, it’s surrender, it’s procreation, and it’s been that way since Polidori made his vampire an aristocratic monster instead of a ragged, disgusting peasant. Before 1820, a vampire would never make a good romance hero. After Polidori, after Stoker–hell yeah, they do.

The difference isn’t as much in the vampires, but in Society. Dracula was sex. He was dark uncontrollable need and desire. But, in 1890s Victorian England, that wasn’t such a virtue.

Poor Lucy, she just had to die. Why? Because she was figuratively fornicating with three men (naughty girl!) when she allowed her three suitors to give her a blood transfusion. Succumbing to Dracula wasn’t her only sin…she had three guys at once, too. No wonder they had to cut her head off.

Miss Aubrey in The Vampyre? Killed by Lord Ruthven, yes — but at the hands of the vampire, it made it much more than just death. It was ruin. In Regency times, we all know what that means. And poor Aubrey, driven too mad by Ruthven and his memories and his promise and what happened to the poor little innocent Greek girl (you just know it wasn’t just her blood Ruthven took in the forest), he just couldn’t stop it.

So vampires, and the drinking of blood: that’s sex. Sex, sex, sex. And, in modern times, without the ‘dirty’ attached to sex, without the ‘ruin’, without the threat of ETERNAL DAMNATION…that surrender, the exchange, the release, the feeding…it’s all part of the fantasy of romance. Particularly, I think, erotic-y romance. Throw in immortality, the promise of eternal love, the power and the dark beauty, the danger…and you’ve got a fantastic hero (or heroine.)

It’s not a fantasy that appeals to everyone, of course. But here’s my question: how can you not think vampires are sexy?

**originally posted here**

First, there’s an excellent ATBF column that confronts issues of racism in publishing, marketing, and the reading of romance over at AAR.

Second, Candy of Smart Bitches has a rant In Defense of Girly Men over at SBTB that is generating a lot of comments I haven’t had time to read through yet, but it does touch (along with Charlene Teglia’s RTB column Romance That Go Bump in the Night about paranormal romances in honor of Halloween-month) on some thoughts I’ve had lately about heroes, horror, and my own book.

One of the complaints I hear most often about paranormal romances is that, despite the werewolves and vampires, they aren’t scary. There’s no sense of terror or fear that you’d get with, say, a Stephen King or Dean Koontz novel (even though both authors (but especially Koontz) have romantic elements to them). And I wonder if one of the reasons for the lack of real horror in the romance genre is an unwillingness for authors or publishers to have a hero who is afraid (and for me, if the characters aren’t afraid, there’s no reason for me to be, either).

Oh, it’s okay if he fears for the heroine’s life after the villain abducts her. That kind of fear is manly, and spurs him to action. But what about fear of the unknown? What about being totally freaked out because some unnatural, totally freaking crazy-out-there thing is happening in his town, and he doesn’t know what it is, but it’s creepy and frightening?

Sure, the heroine can be freaked out like that. But the hero? The hero is usually worse than the bad guy. Of all the creepy-crawly bad things out there, he’s got to be the darkest and the toughest (even if he’s human) or he might just be too weeny.

But that doesn’t have to happen — one of my favorite Koontz books is WATCHERS (not the movie…god, what a mistake that was). The hero there is ex-Special Forces, but he KNOWS that the Outsider could tear him to pieces, and he is afraid of it (and afraid of the people looking for Einstein, too). But even though he’s afraid, he makes a stand to protect the people he loves. No weeniness there, not at all.

The bad guy should be stronger/smarter than the good guys. This can’t be just in comic books and horror novels, right? What’s sexier, what’s stronger than a hero and heroine who have no freaking chance, are scared out of their wits, yet fight and win anyway?

I haven’t been reading a ton of paranormals lately, I’ll admit (issues with voice and siphoning up too many ideas) but when I do read them, I’m not scared. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been really freaked out by a romance novel, if ever.

But I think it could be a really fantastic subgenre–horror/romance. If emotions are running high from fear it opens up a million ways to twist that just a little bit into passion, or whatever…intensity of more than just one emotion (not much different from romantic suspense). And part of me does want to see the vampires and werewolves as the bad guys again (with maybe a few exceptions for those really, really, really hot vamps :-D)

But maybe it’s already happening, and I just haven’t been (not) reading the right books? Right now, I read paranormals because I like the world-building, I like the forbidden aspects of the relationships, the way in which the Other is presented in a hypersexual way, the lure of the dangerous hero/heroine — but not because they are scary.