Dear Missy,

About two and a half months ago, Maya M. of Apprentice Writer asked a few questions about DEMON ANGEL and DEMON MOON in the comments of this blog post, and Meljean said she’d get back to her on them ASAP. Meljean’s an asshole. Where are the answers?

Sincerely,
Tired of Incompetent Twits

Dear TIT,

I feel your pain. I’ve been stuck here in the closet for almost three freaking years now! She’s always saying, “I’ll get to you, I promise!” but then I look around and she’s doing belly-flops in the hall or trying to burn off her hair. She’s a total freaking loser (even worse, she’s not a virgin, which means she’s probably the sophisticated-other-woman-slut who’s going to try to steal away someone’s hero!)

But I hunted her down, shot her through the shoulders with a crossbow, pinning her to the floor, and jumped on her head until she gave it up. Here are those answers:

SPOILERS FOR DEMON ANGEL AND DEMON MOON FOLLOW!

In Google Reader, the cut doesn’t hide the rest of this post. Don’t go any farther if you don’t want to be spoiled for DEMON ANGEL and DEMON MOON.

Every once in a while, you come across a concept that is so freaking cool, that you bang your head and wonder why you didn’t think of it. I ran across one of those today when I read an interview at Occasional Superheroine, regarding a new Zuda.com webcomic by David Gallaher and Steve Ellis called High Moon.

Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like, but here is a description from Ellis (the artist) on the High Moon blog:

It’s … a supernatural western/horror, involving six guns and werewolves … it starts out as a mystery and I think it will be a blast when we reveal the final twist.

I love Ellis’s art anyway, so of course I’m a shoo-in fan. They do one issue at a time (8 pages) and then if it gets enough votes it continues.

Other stuff: Kerry Allen has a fantastic review of Demon Moon over at her blog, but the fun news is that, apparently, Colin will be her HOTM on Nov 2. (Her blog’s a load of good times, anyway, so a visit (even without Colin) is well worth it.)

This is maybe a different kind of moon (and one I want to avoid), but to the gentleman at the Borders’ cafe, who sat in the chair next to me whilst I was writing, and proceeded to tear off the plastic wrapping on a Penthouse magazine: No. Just — no. You couldn’t wait until you got home? Until you got into your car? Or maybe on the bus, where everyone expects that kind of stuff? Gah. Do Not Want.

I’m at The Good, The Bad, and the Unread today! We’re giving away copies of Demon Moon … and Missy pops her head in and takes over some of the GAD duties, because I’m busy with a deadline.

Okay, so several stores have had it for the past week, but today is the official release day!

In two hundred years, the vain and beautiful vampire Colin Ames-Beaumont has never met a woman he couldn’t leave. Savitri Murray has never encountered a problem she can’t solve. But when deadly creatures from the Chaos realm throw them together for their protection, and a demon endangers both their lives, Colin and Savi must form a bond–but any love they have is threatened by a curse that can’t be broken by beauty or brains…

Read a four-chapter sneak peek!

Reviews after the jump.

…were the numbers that random.org generated randomly.

Dance Chica

LesleyW

Have both won my backlist! Thanks to everyone for playing and joining in the fun, and if you missed Colin’s answers to the Proust questionnaire, they’re still there.

Other stuff:

I’m the author of the month over at Vampireromancebooks.com! I have an interview up with them, and watch for a contest to win a copy of Demon Moon. I’ll post a link when we get it up. In the meantime, there’s a fantastic contest involving a stake and Colleen Gleason’s Rises the Night taking place!

DearAuthor.com has put up the story of my first sale.

Demon Moon is a DIK at AAR (which means I have to find a new goal in life).

And don’t forget that you can hitch a ride on the L.U.R.V.E. Train!

I’m missing stuff to link, I know, but gah! I’ll put up more later.

Find out how.

Want to get on the L.U.R.V.E. Train, and get a chance to win copies of Demon Moon, and a triple-digit or seven double-digit Amazon gift certificates? Find out how.

Dear People Magazine,

Every November, you come out with your “Sexiest Man Alive” issue; every spring, you print your list of the “World’s Most Beautiful People.”

But in 2007 — for the last two hundred years — the sexiest man and the most beautiful person has been … a vampire.

George? Pffft. Brad? Come on! Jude? …no.

Why isn’t it that Colin Ames-Beaumont hasn’t graced your cover? Is it simply because his picture cannot be taken? (He’s so beautiful a blank cover with just his name on it would make your readers drool.) Because he usually only comes out at night? (How is that different than Johnny Depp?) Because you think he hasn’t bared his assets for a Hollywood camera?

Are you afraid of his tainted blood? You shouldn’t be: one look will not send you to the Chaos realm, surrounded by flying dragons and the screams of the damned. Only Colin sees that realm when he looks into a mirror — it will not trouble you. Is it the woman he’s falling in love with? Geeks need love, too, People Magazine — a fact you have long overlooked (but that is another campaign to be won.)

Is it the fear that if you met him in a dark alley, the words “Oh my God you’re so beautiful!” would hardly be past your lips before he had you up against the wall for some hot sexing that you wouldn’t remember the next day?

No; none of those things are true impediments to being called “the sexiest” or “the most beautiful”. I think the problem is that you’ve been stuck on one pesky little word in the “Sexiest Man” title: Alive.

But there are those of us — readers and authors, geeks and norms — who know that Undead can be just as sexy as Living. And we’ve got hundreds of paranormal romances to prove it.

So I’m beginning my campaign to get a vampire on the cover of your magazine. To no longer be forced to stare longingly at men who can’t read my mind. Men who can’t use a sword. Men who can’t wear satin-lined capes and look good doing it. I’m calling for all readers, living and undead, to fight for vampire equality.

And I’m nominating Colin Ames-Beaumont to the be first representative of the “Sexiest Man Alive (and Undead)” for 2007. What separates him from other vampire romance heroes, you wonder? He’s strong, as they are. He sucks blood, as they do. He’s got out-of-control sexual appeal, as they do. But there is one thing, People Magazine, that makes Colin stand out from the rest of the vampire heroes.

Colin … is blond.

But do not take my word for it; judge for yourself. And because he is cursed, unable to see his reflection or to have any pictures taken, the only proof I can offer is in Demon Moon. The book cover cannot do him justice — you must look inside. Want a peek? The first four chapters are here. Or you can buy it at Amazon (it is available June 5 in stores everywhere).

Living and Undead Readers for Vampire Equality

Join the L.U.R.V.E. Train – Because vampires are beautiful people, too.

(Want to join the L.U.R.V.E. Train? Nominate your own vampire, win books and Amazon gift certificates? Climb aboard here.)

Want to get on the L.U.R.V.E. Train, and get a chance to win copies of Demon Moon, and a triple-digit or seven double-digit Amazon gift certificates? Find out how.

Dear People Magazine,

Every November, you come out with your “Sexiest Man Alive” issue; every spring, you print your list of the “World’s Most Beautiful People.”

But in 2007 — for the last two hundred years — the sexiest man and the most beautiful person has been … a vampire.

George? Pffft. Brad? Come on! Jude? …no.

Why isn’t it that Colin Ames-Beaumont hasn’t graced your cover? Is it simply because his picture cannot be taken? (He’s so beautiful a blank cover with just his name on it would make your readers drool.) Because he usually only comes out at night? (How is that different than Johnny Depp?) Because you think he hasn’t bared his assets for a Hollywood camera?

Are you afraid of his tainted blood? You shouldn’t be: one look will not send you to the Chaos realm, surrounded by flying dragons and the screams of the damned. Only Colin sees that realm when he looks into a mirror — it will not trouble you. Is it the woman he’s falling in love with? Geeks need love, too, People Magazine — a fact you have long overlooked (but that is another campaign to be won.)

Is it the fear that if you met him in a dark alley, the words “Oh my God you’re so beautiful!” would hardly be past your lips before he had you up against the wall for some hot sexing that you wouldn’t remember the next day?

No; none of those things are true impediments to being called “the sexiest” or “the most beautiful”. I think the problem is that you’ve been stuck on one pesky little word in the “Sexiest Man” title: Alive.

But there are those of us — readers and authors, geeks and norms — who know that Undead can be just as sexy as Living. And we’ve got hundreds of paranormal romances to prove it.

So I’m beginning my campaign to get a vampire on the cover of your magazine. To no longer be forced to stare longingly at men who can’t read my mind. Men who can’t use a sword. Men who can’t wear satin-lined capes and look good doing it. I’m calling for all readers, living and undead, to fight for vampire equality.

And I’m nominating Colin Ames-Beaumont to the be first representative of the “Sexiest Man Alive (and Undead)” for 2007. What separates him from other vampire romance heroes, you wonder? He’s strong, as they are. He sucks blood, as they do. He’s got out-of-control sexual appeal, as they do. But there is one thing, People Magazine, that makes Colin stand out from the rest of the vampire heroes.

Colin … is blond.

But do not take my word for it; judge for yourself. And because he is cursed, unable to see his reflection or to have any pictures taken, the only proof I can offer is in Demon Moon. The book cover cannot do him justice — you must look inside. Want a peek? The first four chapters are here. Or you can buy it at Amazon (it is available June 5 in stores everywhere).

Living and Undead Readers for Vampire Equality

Join the L.U.R.V.E. Train – Because vampires are beautiful people, too.

(Want to join the L.U.R.V.E. Train? Nominate your own vampire, win books and Amazon gift certificates? Climb aboard here.)

…and you get a chance to win every book he’s appeared in.
NOTE: THIS CONTEST OVER OVER. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING!

I’m giving away two sets of my backlist — the trade HOT SPELL, DEMON ANGEL, and WILD THING. To enter, you must choose seven of the following questions, and answer them either on your own blog or here in the comments. (If you answer them on your blog, please be sure to leave a link here in the comments.)

You do not have to answer them as yourself. Feel free to use a character that you’ve created, or one from a book, movie, or television show … just let us know who it is.

I will randomly select two winners from the posts in the comments (so make sure you link if you post on your own blog!) And remember, even if you already have copies of these books, they can make a great gift (or punishment, if you didn’t like them.) The last day to enter will be May 31st, at midnight. Here are Colin’s answers to the full questionnaire:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A life lived without answering any ridiculous French questionnaires.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Waking up in the Chaos realm.

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

The fantastically brilliant and gorgeous figure who inspired an Irishman to give vampires no reflection.

4. Which living person do you most admire?

Might I choose an undead person? If so, it is that fantastically brilliant and gorgeous person who inspired an Irishman.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

This question is absurd.

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Blindness.

7. What is your greatest extravagance?

The time I’ve wasted on questions one to six. I am immortal, but Good God — Children of the Corn: 666 was time and money better spent, and I received it free from Columbia House after purchasing my 1000^th DVD through them.

8. What is your favorite journey?

From San Francisco to Beaumont Court. Then, after my nieces and nephews have chased me round with garlic wreaths and crucifixes for a fortnight or so, I find the journey home even more agreeable.

9. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Chastity.

10. On what occasion do you lie?

I never lie.

11. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

Ridiculous question.

12. Which living person do you most despise?

Equally ridiculous question. Why would I bother to expend the energy required to despise a person? It is far more entertaining and gratifying when others despise or fear me. So long as they take a good look at me before cowering or tottering off to their libraries or wherever they sit and contemplate with malice the faces of those they hate, I am satisfied.

13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

In public company, usually to strangers: “You look lovely tonight, my dear.” In private company, or to myself: “Good God.” “Bloody hell.” “Bloody fucking hell.”

14. What is your greatest regret?

That I did not put Savi to sleep after I drank from her. That I did not take more care that she had no memory of our encounter by the fountain. That, because of my neglect, she will not look at me now.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

I am not certain that I wish to ever find someone I would love more than I do myself. What would come of that love? If it were with a human, I would have to find others to feed from; if a vampire, I could not feed her; and if she were a Guardian…no, that would be impossible. I could never love a self-righteous, lecturing moralist.

16. Which talent would you most like to have?

I am and have mastered everything I should like to be or have mastered.

17. What is your current state of mind?

Thanks to this absurd questionnaire — and specifically, the question numbered fourteen — rather melancholy, and desperately hungry for a bit of Indian curry.

18. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

They would be immortal.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Achievement is such a plebian goal. If I must have an achievement of which to be proud, it is that I have managed to exist two hundred years without achieving anything.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

This is absurd — a thing? What should I be — a pair of trousers? Bloody ridiculous.

21. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

Me.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

A painting of Savi, in Caelum, by the fountain. It is already without compare, and I suspect that in sixty years or so, its value to me will be far beyond priceless.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Chaos. But ask again in sixty years, or after she marries, and I may have a different answer.

24. Where would you like to live?

San Francisco.

25. What is your favorite occupation?

Hunting. Drinking. Fucking. (They are all the same.)

26. What is your most marked characteristic?

I am exceptionally handsome.

27. What is the quality you most like in a man?

One who is clever, but never one who is more clever than I.

28. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Curiosity, particularly when her questions are designed to gather information about me. Intelligence. Beauty. A sharp wit and quick tongue. One who speaks honestly and bluntly — no doubt a result of having an adopted brother who can read lies.

29. What do you most value in your friends?

Fine eyesight, and better aesthetic judgment.

30. Who are your favorite writers?

Mary Shelley. John Polidori. (I hope this question refers to the writer as a person, and does not include Polidori’s works — because The Vampyre was utterly ridiculous.)

31. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Not that weak-minded fool Aubrey, that’s for certain.

32. Who are your heroes in real life?

I shall never admit it, not to him or his partner.

33. What are your favorite names?

Colin. Emily. Anthony. I have also recently taken a strong liking to names from The Mahabharata.

34. What is it that you most dislike?

Chaos and polyester.

35. How would you like to die?

Never, but if I must, in my daysleep.

36. What is your motto?

Don’t be absurd. Napoleon’s pox-ridden sailors created mottos so as not to be forced to think of anything original to say whilst they drowned. As it was, most of them forgot it at the last moment, and instead remarked upon how bloody brilliant the British Navy was just as the water closed over their heads.

While looking for something in an old file today, I ran across some stuff I wrote while I was trying to determine exactly how I would a) get Colin’s backstory across, b) share some worldbuilding information, and c) show what had happened in Caelum, and in the months between the end of Demon Angel and the opening of Demon Moon.

I ended up doing something different than this — but I had originally thought of opening each chapter with an e-mail exchange. Because Savi, she is v. curious, and her constant questions could have been an easy way to explain certain rules. So that’s how these started out … but then I ended up entertaining myself way too much, and these little exchanges would have disrupted the narrative flow of the rest of the novel.

So, as far as I’m concerned, these are in continuity — and they aren’t really spoilers for Demon Moon, because they take place in the in-between time. There are slight spoilers for Demon Angel, however. It’s not much, but…yeah. The title of it should probably be: Savitri Has A Question; or, How Savitri’s Curiosity Slowly Drives Colin Insane.

There are also some early reviews coming in — from loonigrrl (whose reviews I’ve been reading at Amazon for some time, so I’m glad she’s got a blog) and Holly (at The Book Binge, the new-and-improved SF). These may include spoilers. I’ll be putting all of the Demon Moon reviews on their own page pretty soon, along with a place for readers to enter comments and links to their reviews, or to ask me questions about the series/book in a way that’s out there in the open. I’ll link to that as soon as I get it up.

I’m also going to be signing at the Beaverton Powell’s on July 2nd. It will be my first signing, eek! I will have more info as the date approaches, but if you’re related to me, mark your calendars now, because I totally expect you to show up and pretend you aren’t related, and buy lots of copies and say how great my hair looks.

Don’t forget to play for a free copy of WILD THING! The scavenger hunt is up until Friday night.