Meljean Brook

I was doing a little research and ran across this blog: Strange Maps.

Holy crap. There are historical maps, fictional maps (Gotham City, anyone?), speculative maps (a post-Armageddon map), humorous maps (South America, made out of laundry), statistical maps (patient:doctor ratios by area) … all kinds of stuff.

All with commentary, and a fascinating look into different ways of viewing the world.

Tip #1: Do not give your four-year-old child your debit card to hold while Mommy finishes up her business.

Not even if you’re there on a Saturday because she’s been sick all week, making it difficult to get to the post office, and she still kind of looks miserable and tired, and she says, “Can I hold that?” and she’s so unbearably cute that you think you can’t resist anything she wants.

You can resist. You must. (And it’s good practice for later, when she’s sixteen and has her eye on a special edition of a Preacher graphic novel.)

Tip #2: When, less than two seconds later, you see your debit card sliding into the tiny space between the scale and its frame, try not to shriek.

Shrieking makes the four-year-old jump back, yelling, “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” and then you have to calm her down and let her know it wasn’t her fault, because Mommy didn’t follow the advice of Tip #1.

Tip #3: Do not try to use your fingers to get it out. It doesn’t work. Nor does sticking the edge of an old receipt down the little slot, trying to give it a nudge, because the receipt folds.

Tip #4: Calmly finish your business, glad that you chose the “credit” option instead of the “debit” option, because with a credit card you can do multiple purchases at once, but with a debit you have to swipe after each purchase. Give your child the blank rectangular stickers off of each stamp, because she needs to be cheered up and is easily pleased.

Tip #5: Plot.

Not the good kind of plotting, the kind you (try) to do in books, that eventually leads to the bad guy getting killed and the whoopie being made. No, this is the “what’s the best way to break open that scale without being caught?” kind of plotting. The “what sob story can I tell the bank so that they rush a replacement to me at no charge?” kind of plotting.

Tip #6: Explain to the child that even though Mommy made a bad decision when she gave her the card, that does not mean that a four-year-old should try to stick something slender into the first equally slender slot she sees.

Tip #7: Think to yourself, WWMD?

What Would MacGyver Do?

Tip #8: Keep an eye out for other postal customers and/or postal employees. You do not want them to see what you are about to do, and they probably don’t have the same appreciation for MacGuyver.

Tip #9: Find a Change of Address card. They are made of cardstock and sturdy.

Tip #10: Steal the excuse-for-a-sticker back from your child. Stick to the edge of the Change of Address card, making certain that about 1cm of sticky part is hanging over the edge.

Tip #11: Look around again; prepare to run as fast as you can if a postal employee shouts, “WTF are you doing?” or if the machine breaks or if anything gets permanently stuck, gumming up the works.

Tip #12: Back away as fast as you can when someone comes in to check their postal box. Look innocent. This is where the miserable-looking-child is an asset.

Tip #13: After they’ve left, quickly insert the sticker/card into the thin slot. Nudge the card, just as you would set a hook.

Tip #14: Pull out card. Tell child that she’s so smart and such a good girl for having stickers!!

Tip #15: Buy milkshake with card (you have to make sure it still works, after all.)

As part of a guest blogging post for the 2007 Love of Reading Book Fair, Jane from Dear Author had some really nice things to say about Demon Night. That early feedback is always the most frightening — after the book has been out a little while, you know what reactions have been so although the positives are still wonderful and the negatives still not-so-wonderful, a lot of the surprise is gone. But three months before the book is released is nail-biting time, and hearing that readers are enjoying it goes a long way toward easing the pre-release panic.

Don’t forget you have all of November to enter the contest for a Demon Night ARC! 

I saw this review over at Bookfetish.org. It includes this tidbit.

The advices from this biography of facts about the holy Chuck are as follows: Grow a beard, build a shrine for the Chuck and be sure to offer up young maidens to it daily and always be alert for the Chuck is all-mighty. The Chuck knows where you live and has no problem taking your woman…repeatedly.

“Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.”

I want.

(more…)

It’s that time again!

I have an ARC (plain white cover, might have a few typos, 448 pages, small type) of my upcoming release, Demon Night (February 5) to give away. There is a catch, however: because this is an advance reading copy, I want to use it in the way it’s intended to be used:

If you win, please post a review on a) Amazon, BN.com, Powell’s and/or any online bookstore of your choice, or b) write up a review on your blog, or c) if you don’t have a blog, I can arrange for you to have it posted either here (even if you hate it) or at another blog in the romance circuit.

Please don’t feel obligated to post a positive review if you don’t like the book.

If you’re new to the Guardian universe, this is a good place to hop on; Demon Angel and Demon Moon finished the introductory arc, and Demon Night starts the new arc.

Here’s the back cover copy, and an excerpt is here:

Explore the seductive corners of the dark, as a forbidden attraction tempts danger under the canopy of the Demon Night…

Charlie Newcomb worked hard to get her life back together. But all that is shaken when she’s set upon by three vampires desperate to transform her beauty into something evil. Because Charlie is the vital link to something they want — and need. It’s Charlie’s flesh and blood sister, a medical scientist whose knowledge could be invaluable to the predators.

But to get to her, they must first get to Charlie, now under the intimate protection of Ethan McCabe. As her Guardian, Ethan is attracted to her vulnerabilities — as well as her strengths. The closer he gets, the more protecting her becomes not just his duty, but his desire. But will it be enough to save Charlie when the demon night falls?

So, what do you have to do? Let’s share some book recommendations. What’s the last good/great book you read in any genre? Me, it was The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, which is a collection of short stories based on the author’s experiences in Vietnam. I’d read the “The Things They Carried” short story before, and it’s frankly one of the single best stories I’ve ever read, but I hadn’t read all of them … and they’re simply amazing. Highly, highly recommended.

On the romance end, I read the An Enchanted Season anthology with Maggie Shayne, Erin McCarthy, Nalini Singh(!) and Jean Johnson, and enjoyed every story (which isn’t easy for an anthology — this one is really great.)

(Heh. You can tell I’m busy writing; I can only fit in short stories and novellas lately, and that’s usually when I’m in the car waiting for my husband or daughter.)

So, to make this all official: In the comments of this post, tell us what the last good book you read was (and if you have an extra second, tell us a little about the book — especially if it’s a book outside the romance genre, or a book that isn’t on the bestseller list and not many people may have heard of.) I’ll keep the contest open for the rest of November, and randomly select a winner on Dec 1st.

So, that’s it.

(And if you want two chances to win — write a second comment and tell us what Nov/Dec book you’re looking forward to! For me, it’s Creation in Death. Gah! I can’t wait to get my hands on that baby!)