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July 23 2010

Dear people in the Portland metro area

Meljean Dorkery of course there are tons of girls in the portland metro area who HAVE seen him with his shirt off, the dog

I’m sorry, but if I’m driving at night through your neighborhood, and you’ve got your lights on and your curtains open, I will look in.

I kind of can’t help myself. But even if I could, I probably would look in, anyway, because I’m always fascinated by the inside of other people’s houses … even when this habit has led to my seeing certain scenes that I’d rather not have seen, including one in my in-laws’ neighbors’ bedroom that left me incapable of humping my husband for a month. And if you’ve ever seen my husband with his shirt off,* you would know that was a nasty, nasty scene, indeed.

Also, if you are reading a book, I will contort my body and my eyeballs any way possible to see the title and author. That isn’t me being nosy, I swear — it’s part of my job.

—
*I really hope that you haven’t.

FAQ: Iron Seas alternate history A Cautionary Tale: The Nipple and the Fishhook

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About Meljean

Meljean was born on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pasttimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy who worked there. His name was Westley...but she never called him that.

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Please direct all queries regarding rights, contracts, and blurb requests to Nephele Tempest of The Knight Agency.

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