Woke up. Googled self. Found a “new” review on the twentieth search page. Written in 2008. How did I miss before? Copied and sent to publicist, with note that there might be more coming as I search through that blog’s archives.
Remembered that it’s Tweet Day. Pulled up social media guidelines. Must not put readers off by too much promo. Must mention something of shared interest. Must be friendly and open. Looked on Twitter to see frequent topics — pets, food. Spent an hour composing and editing tweet. My fluffy cat looks at me while I eat. LOL! Does yours? Plz RT
Sent copy of Tweet to publicist.
Can’t forget that social media is all about interaction. Re-Tweeted all reviews of my books, before bloggers notice that I didn’t Re-Tweet and give me a lower grade next time out of spite. Wrote down names of all negative reviews. Reminder to self: Make new e-mail. New Goodreads account. Friend them. Bide time.
Re-Tweeted all author contests — if readers get other books for free they will buy mine. Saw that K.C. finally came online again to promote her new book and Tweeted so I Re-Tweeted her Tweet. Make note: I supported her, can remind her of it when I ask for quote.
Re-Tweeted last Tweet of all NYT authors. Should get awesome quote soon.
Checked Amazon rankings. Checked rankings of all other PNR authors. Saw N.S. much, much higher than me. Made new Amazon account. Voted down all five-star reviews for her books. Wrote three-star review. “Was hoping for something more like M.B.’s incredible work, but N.S. only delivered something okay. Who spells ‘hawk’ with an ‘e’? Also, M.B. is a more engaging and friendly Tweeter.”
Sent e-mail to N.S. “Just saw your new review! What an asshole! Some people have no taste.” LOLOL, she’ll never know.
Opened MS Word. Opened Scrivener. Turned on AlphaSmart. Ready to write as soon as I Google myself.
Didn’t Google self. Got notice that two people unfollowed on Twitter. One named Jenna25448241. Couldn’t find who she really is, only gross fake pictures — probably a loser hater. One is an author! So furious. We have to support each other!
Made new Twitter account. Sent @reply: You think you are a good writer, but only your mommy says you are! Wah! Do you cry when you get bad reviews, little girl? You need to…
Tweeted links of all of her four-star-and-under reviews at Goodreads. When blocked, made new account. Went to Starbucks when Twitter blocked my IP. I’m too smart for them, LOL.
Damn it — Midnight already! Online drama making it impossible to get any work done. Will catch up on WIP tomorrow.