How To Accidentally Almost Kill Your Husband

Step 1: On Friday night, a little after midnight, decide that you really want something to drink from the kitchen.

Step 2: Get up from your desk where you’ve been writing and walk through the living room, where your husband is on the sofa, watching the Chicago-Boston game and eating grapes.

Step 3: Make some remark so that he looks away from the TV, and sees you wearing this:

Step 4: Perform Heimlich Maneuver until the grape comes out.

Step 5: Defend yourself by saying that you were cold (but really it was just comfy and you like the shirt and the stripey socks.)