My editor told me that she recently cover-conferenced the next installment of my steampunk romance series, and that, yes — it would be more man-titty. I’m not opposed to that. Man-titty isn’t always my favorite, but I think The Iron Duke‘s cover got the job done, letting readers know that Here Lies Romance and Steampunk!
But that doesn’t mean I don’t worry. Because even though I think there is some great man-titty in the world, there are also some terrible, terrible examples of it. And so I offer up this prayer to the Cover Gods, wherever they may reside.
A Romance Author’s Prayer to the Cover Gods
O, you deities of passionate clinches, plz hear me
Because my books will be plastered with man-titty
Round and firm, much like these TANGERINES
That I found in my kitchen (I wish it was clean)
I want sexy man-titty, not too oiled or glistening,
And I hope to hell you Cover Gods are listening!
Bcuz in return, I’ll give you something real nice
I’m offering these succulent fruits as sacrifice!
Oh, look at those two little orange balls, nestled together
But I beg you, Cover Gods, conceal the dude’s nethers
A bulge is okay, but keep it behind his buff breeches,
Don’t scare off my readers, this author beseeches.
And his chest should be manly, but not too hairy,
or so thick that my heroine should be wary
of scratching herself on a crisp woolly mat–
(but a shaving rash sucks, too; no one wants that.)
A tasty dude like Jaci Burton’s or Nalini’s will do,
J.R., Gena and Kresley have some hot ones, too.
And it never makes sense to wear jackets w/o shirts–
If you remember that, O Cover Gods, no one gets hurt.