Storytime with Missy, Part 1

Note: This was originally published in 2005 on my old blog, but the fanfic from yesterday reminded me of it, and after some prompting from Maili (she didn’t have to prompt very hard) I decided to republish it, because you can never have too much action figure action. The second part will go up tomorrow.

Note 2: Missy is my inner child, the one who read romances in the closet. I review books with her sometimes; you can check those out here [ETA: Oh, god — WordPress upgrades have effed up the formatting on those reviews. I’ll try to go in and fix them someday.]

MELJEAN: Hey, Missy! Wanna come out of the closet?

MISSY: Yay! Ooooh, what’s all this?

MELJEAN: Your sister and niece took some pictures at home — and when they came up for a visit, they showed them to me. I thought you might have fun telling a story with them.

MISSY: Whoo hoo! Thanks!

MELJEAN: Did you intentionally censor her giant tits?

MISSY: What? God, you’re talking already? Shut up and enjoy the story!

MELJEAN: Meee-ow!

MELJEAN: She has a lot of dust on her head.

MISSY: She’s an explorer, a tomb raider! You think she only explores clean tombs?

MELJEAN: How did she change her clothes so quickly?


MELJEAN: Maybe she should try her chest as a weapon.
MISSY: …..
MELJEAN: Alright, alright! Shutting up!

MELJEAN: Since when has Rogue been a runaway weenie?
MISSY: This is the movie Rogue, not the comic Rogue.
MELJEAN: Ah, that makes sense.

MELJEAN: Hahahahahahaha! Do you know what that looks like?
MISSY: What? He’s attacking her.
MELJEAN: Hahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha!

MELJEAN: Her skin torn off? Killed with a massive dose of jizz, more likely.
MISSY: You’re gross! God, why do you have such a dirty mind?
MELJEAN: It’s your fault! You read too many smutty romances.
MISSY: There wasn’t any jizz-killing in them! That’s all your screwed up mind, not mine!
MELJEAN: Huh…you got me there.

MELJEAN: Rogue changed her clothes?
MISSY: Don’t ask me. Ask Echo and Jessica. They took the damn pictures.
MELJEAN: Why is she humping Jean’s dead body?
MISSY: I’ll kill you someday.

MELJEAN: Yay! Scully and Mulder! Will they have some hot ‘shipper action? I like Angela, too.
MISSY: I’m not dirty like that!
MELJEAN: Yes you are! I know you used to make your Barbies and Star Wars figures and He-Man figures do it.
MISSY: Shut up!
(Special thanks to Echo and Jessica, who took these pics on a whim and gave me lots of material and about two gallons of tears from laughter.)