There are other great inspirational pieces up today. Something big happened today, I guess 😀
*cough*like my dad’s 62nd birthday and I didn’t get him a present*cough*
So, today I was standing in line at the coffee shop, and a woman (#1) was standing behind me. Another woman and a man come in (we’ll call them Woman #2 and Man #2 to show they came in together, even though there aren’t two men in this story).
Woman #1 and Woman #2 — wild embracing, “oh my god it’s so good to see you!” and “I can’t believe I almost missed seeing you!”
Woman #2 — I’ve gotta go pee, will you order for me if I’m not back yet?
(She goes to pee.)
Woman #1 to Man #2 says: Have you told her yet?
Man #2: No.
Woman #1: We need to tell her. It’s not something you can put off.
Man #2: I know. But I don’t want to hurt her.
Starbucks barista at the counter (to me): Can I help you?
Me, thinking: OMG, no!!!!!! I want to hear!!!!
Me, saying as fast as I can: icedtallnonfatnowhipmochaplease
Woman #1: — but — you —
The espresso machine’s steamer: SHSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHSHHHHHHHHHHH!
Man #2: — just let me do it my way, okay?
Starbucks barista and steamer and other stuff: Receipt? SHHHHSHHSHSHHHHHHHHH! thunk thunk
Me: OMG! OMG! I HAVE TO KNOW!!!11!!!
Woman #2 comes back from bathroom. I have to move on to the bar to get my drink, and my giant ears are trying to pick up any whisper…but it is all over.
And now I have made up ten thousand different stories to go along with that frustrating scene. OMG, he is cheating on her with her best friend! OMG, her brother is sleeping with her best friend! OMG, he knocked up her best friend! OMG, he just got a job in Cambodia and he’s leaving her and the best friend knows and she doesn’t, but neither of them know that she’s knocked up and that’s why she has to pee so often!
So if you were at the Washington Square (Too) Starbucks (the one next to the Barnes and Noble) today, and you were standing behind a redhead, whispering to a guy while your good friend was in the restroom, could you please end this agony, and tell me what is going on?
Or, you know, make it up. That’s what I do.