"Why didn't any of that go to your b**bs?"

–My husband, after I dared to step on the scale for the first time in a year, and realized that I’d gained 10 lbs.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!”

–My husband, two seconds later.

“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!”

–Meljean, minute 30 in the gym this morning.