Dear Kitty,

When you meow at the door, wanting to be let in, then PLEASE COME IN instead of standing there, sniffing the doorframe, and deciding whether you REALLY want to enter the abode where your fricking food is. I swear to God, I’m going to shut the door in your cute little face next time!

kthxbai,
Meljean

P.S. *sob sob* Okay, I wouldn’t shut it in your cute wittle face. It’s true: I’m totally pussy-whipped.