Next Week, I Will Be Stupider

I’m getting my wisdom teeth out today. They tell me that the process will take about an hour, and that I’ll be able to drive home afterward with some simple pain meds …. which, to be honest, is kind of disappointing. I was hoping for some really great drugs, especially after the experiences that my sisters had.

My oldest sister: I’m pretty sure there was codeine involved. I do know there was Jell-O.

My next oldest sister: Had hers taken out by a dentist who WASN’T awesome. Apparently, they numbed her up with the needles, then had to break her teeth and dig out all of the pieces. I definitely remember her being on massive painkillers, because it was kind of funny.

Younger sister: Had drugs.

Very youngest sister: Okay, I don’t remember anything about her until she moved in with me when she was 19 years old. She visited me at my apartment in Alaska once — so she tells me — and I don’t remember. I’m pretty sure that she’s actually a robot that has been infiltrating our family, and all of our memories were altered to include her … but not perfectly, and that’s why I have no memory of her until she’s an adult. I certainly don’t remember growing up with her in the same house.

I don’t think she has her wisdom teeth though. I’m sure she had drugs.

It’s not fair. Has dental science really progressed this far? I wanted to be loopy after the surgery!

I’ll be going back to work, instead. Sigh.