The hardest thing in the world may be…

…suppressing my tendency to make fun of myself when writing a query letter.

I should probably not say:

Hi, I’m Meljean, a somewhat silly person who likes men in tights and capes. I wrote a couple of books, but they’re really long and stuff. With lots of blood. You wanna read them?

Or,

Hi, I’m Meljean, and I’m looking for representation because I have no idea what the heck I’m doing business-wise. Like, I’ve got a couple of books coming out next year (that might totally bomb, who knows?) and I’m writing the proposal chapters for the third single title in the series, and I think it’s under option[1] but I really like my editor anyway and am not looking for a different publisher because I like my angel-titty and could you send it to her please please please?

Or,

Hi, I’m Meljean, and I’m a dork, but if you represent me I’ll send you some chocolate, because my sister works at Godiva and shit. Oh yeah, and my characters are way hawt, because I wish I was.

…yeah. Or not. Sigh.

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[1] And the fact that I’m not really sure shows exactly how much I really, really should have an agent.