Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash.

To the gentleman in the green 1990 Honda Civic, with the license plate: RAD RU

No. And if you define “rad”, then I’m glad I’m not. I must say, that plate is a disgrace to TMNT fans everywhere, who once found great joy in the use of “rad”.

To the teenybopper in the shiny new SUV, with: DDY GRL

Puke.

To the guy in the late model Mercedes sedan, with: ONE8T

That does not give me confidence in your driving skills, your navigational abilities, nor your decision making abilities. Are you always turning around in the middle of the street? Are you always changing your mind? I think you’re trying to say that you’re different from everyone else, a 180 from the norm … just, no.

To the lady with the brightly painted car, who had Dr. Seuss, Clifford, and a bunch of other children’s book images on there, with the message “Books Save Lives” written on the back bumper, and I really wish I hadn’t lost my cell phone so that I could have taken a picture of it and posted it here, I may have to make my own license plate: I HRT U